Lolita Bullying


  Behind The Bows

Behind the bows is well known in the lolita community for the posting of doctored pictures (faces are blanked out) with horrible taglines and comments.
Victims pictures can be selected for some of the below reasons:

Not wearing expensive brands.
Being overweight
Being underweight
Not being considered to meet the exact 'look' that some seem to think is the only correct way to wear lolita.
Just starting out
Personal attacks

I recentl watched a girl on YouTube having a rant about people being on there, people sending things in, then writing some very, very nasty things.  This girl has now found herself on behind the bows for her efforts.

I, myself have been put on there two times now and I know that someone I know in the lolita community uploaded the pictures that were copied from my Facebook profile.  Not the friendliest of fashion communities is it?

I've a very good friend who's pictures have ended up on this hateful site.  She modfies and makes her own clothes, blogs about the fashion she loves and happens to be one of the nicest people I know., I feel lucky to know her and she always makes me smile.  But because she is a bigger girl, who wears what she wants to wear, some spiteful and hateful people decided to mock her on that site.  She didn't take it badly of course, she's too strong for something like this to get her down.
 I respect that so much about her… People still take the piss out of her, and others  who are are new to Lolita.  The majority of girls who are new to lolita fashion just want friends, some good advice and to have fun with it.

In one of the magazines that I buy, they had a very good article on cyber bullying, or ‘Trolling’ and how its getting so much easier to do.  Fake profiles on blogs / facebook and other sites are easier enough to create.  All you need is an e-mail address with any name you want and then anyone can become an anonymous bully.  This is worrying as bullies in the real world can be avoided, they can't get at their chosed victim 24x7, whereas online they can.

I think that people should think about what they say on line before posting some mean and hiding behind a ‘fake’ name, They, as in you me and everyone who is using the net for what ever, need to think about this,  ‘Would you say this to their face?'
I do hope that for those of you reading this, the answer is a firm No.

People do forget that what you say can hurt, and does hurt.
If your that mean and have the need to put out some hurtful things in comments then you should talk to someone about how much anger you have, and why you feel the need to put someone else down who have not done anything to you, who you don’t know,
This gets me so mad, not just Behind the bows but now its everywhere, you can’t go online without seeing someone bitch.
I wish people would be more respectful of other, stop putting other down to feel better about their self, we are all human, everyone is not perfect,I just wish that women, in fashion groups and in any other community, would help each other more, be nicer, more friendly. Or maybe that's just impossible and some women just have too much hate, jealousy or pain in their live that they have to lash out and the ver people who could support and understand the best.  Anyway, Rant over.

                            Taking last summer at my first Lolita meet.

                             At my first Lolita meet last summer.
                                                     Elley xx


  1. I completely agree with you, pepole are so mean and there is just no need I showed my Japanese friend who is a lolita behind the bows and she was horrified she dose not see why western girls feel the need to behave this way. pepole would not do this in japan and if these girls love lolita so much they should think more about how lolitas in japan behave because at the end of the day lolita is a Japanese fashion so they should just think more about how JAPANESE lolitas behave. :)

    1. A lot of people don't know what repect is, how to be nice...
      Makes me sad.. I wish people who like the same things would
      get on.. They have put me back on there, I'm number 32.. Sod the haters! :) xx

  2. I myself have been on this hateful site. I know where my picture was stolen from. My friend contacted my one morning saying that it had been posted on there. At first I was shocked about the comments from complete strangers who posted these "secrets". I was hurt. I dont pretend to know everything about lolita, its all a learning process. I can see why so many leave so early when they are treated this way by people they dont even know or have ever met. Its dusgusting really, you can hide behind your "secrets" and hurt people from a distance. These people are nothing but cowards and deserve no attention. If you love lolita and have fun doing it, forget these people and frill on!

    1. Some of the pics have been taking off my facebook.. I removed lots of the lolita girls,
      I know some nice girls that are helpful.. Sorry to hear that you have been on hate sites,
      Just let them get on with it, I love lolita and like wearing the fashion my own way,
      I don't want to look like every other lolita, Be happy with your self. x :) x

  3. To me, this isn't so much a lolita fashion issue as it is part of the larger problem of bullying in general. It's pretty much exactly like the high school queen in the US; you know the type, the girl who walks through the school like she owns it and everyone should bow down and kiss the very dirt she prefers not to walk upon. And anyone - ANYONE - who doesn't adhere to her strict code of style, presence and personality is clearly inferior and must be put in their place. Frequently. I hate, loathe and despise people like this. In fact, do you know what this reminds me of? Sophie Lancaster.

    1. Its all very like Mean Girls, But Mean lolita, Some still think that they are in school,
      Makes me sad for them that they have to name call and so on, just
      to make their self feel better. :) x

  4. The sad thing is, I have been put on there, having a go at my friend who is nice,
    No need for this.. Same pic from two weeks go.. Well.. I'm not going stop wearing lolita my way,
    That is my right, Sod the haters..


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