Bully Test

My Test..

So about two weeks ago, I did a blog about the online bullying that is going on in the lolita community... Having been on the awful behind the bows now about 4 times.. I kind of knew where they had got my picture from.. and wanted to prove it... So I had my boyfriend take a picture of me in a lolita dress without a blouse on!  Some girls think this to be a 'sin'
and surprise surprise.. Today I'm on behind the bows at number 21! ...

I did post the picture on a lolita page on facebook, 
called closet of frills:daily lolita co-ords... 
A lot of girls post pics of what kind of lolita outfit they are wearing.. and other people can tell you what they think, if they like it, how to make it better and so on..

 In lolita there are meant to be rules.. Like your ment to wear a blouse, your skirt or dress is ment to be puffy,  your shoes have to be a certain style,  and colours are meant to match and so on, I won't bore you with all the details.. 
But here are some..

 So-called rule's of lolita from what I can find on line.. 
1# wear a blouse or cutsew at all times
2# You must wear bloomer under skirts and dressess at all times.

3#bloomer must not be seen.

4#skirts have to be under the knee

4#shoes have to match something in the outfit.

5#don't clash styles

There are a lot of these so-called rules around on line given by people who wear lolita, 
I like to think that its open to interpretation for everyone.

I myself have only been into the fashion for just over a year now,  it takes time to find your feet and find out what you like best, colours, shoes and make up, hair so on..  they're your clothes, wear them your way!

lolita has a lot of styles in it,
Here are some, (pics off line)
















And there are other lolita styles around, 
lolita is always expanding out and creating more looks, its not just one look that we all have to follow and look the same, A lot of people in lolita think that you have to wear this that and everything or your an 'ita'  - that translates that someone is wearing the clothing but not looking the part - what ever that means?

I like to show you all how I like to wear it, 
I know that some people may not like it but there are things in lolita that I dislike, 
but I would never bitch about some girl who is new to it, there is giving help, and there is just being mean! and I'm not one of the mean girls, its abit like that film but online!

I took some screen pics to show you what the lolita com is like.. and this makes me very sad that people are like this to people that they have never met, and just hide behine a screen and be 'anonymous'  Would they be like this to my face? or is that just not their two faced style?

'Facebook-Closet of frills'
 'Facebook comments'

'Facebook comments'

 'Behind the Bows' 

 'comment from Bows'

'Comments from bows'

On behind the bows someone named a friend of mine and tried to give her the blame for myself being on there, I know that its not her as she is not part of the facebook group and I know that she is better then that, she keeps her self to her self, she doesn't post on there or ever has, She is one of my good friends and I'm lucky to know her 
(you know who you are) 

I won't be posting anymore on that facebook group when the girls can't seem to be nice about how others wear the fashion. 

' Me,  Elly'

Elley xx




  1. This boils my piss. As you well know I loathe bullying, and that is pretty much all BTB seems to be. I had a look earlier and it's almost all "You look shit, you're not dressed right, you're a moron, you suck, you can't dress yourself" - then I found one that amounted to "Why does nobody like me?"

    I'm inclined to wait for that penny to drop for BTB.

    1. The site needs to be taking down, the need to stop enjoying
      hurting people for there own enjoyment -
      I'm one of the only people talking about this,
      and feel it for EVERY one who has ended up on there, coz there shoes were
      not the right colour, or that dress was not a big name,
      or your too big or to thin,
      We are all adults and should repect everyone,
      but the sad thing is, some people don't know what what is!
      I was brought up to be nice, repect people,
      and to treat people the way I want to be treated.

      There now saying that I'm shit for taking about this,
      but it needs to be taked about to be taking down,
      people need to stop sending 'hate' to them! x

    2. So you're going to have a vocal minority who hates something for a nitpick-y reason. Who cares? If you look at some of the BTB comments, some of them are even defending people the secrets are about.
      You're part of a fashion subset, which focuses on looks, combined with the pretty strict lolita aesthetic and guidelines, of course there's going to be clashing when something is posted online. It's only natural given the nature of it all.
      Whether you like the comments or not, it is what it is. You can't stop someone from saying something mean. As nice as it would be to have "bullies" just stfu, you also need to think about what you post. If you truly like what you post, then think about just shrugging it off next time and, mean as it may sound, growing a thicker skin.

      This is a society that tells people not to bully. In a perfect world, that'd be peachy. But bullies just don't go away as we get older. There are no teachers or parents who will give the "no-no" speech to bullies and hope that it solves it all. So what do we do? Instead, the people who are being picked on need to learn to deal with the situations. If that means fighting back, so be it. However, online, especially, when you fight it, it will ultimately blow up into something huge and will stick with you, so it's better to just be like "oh, well, that's unfortunate. I'll learn and do better next time" then move on.
      Fueling the fire and fighting back in the way that was done on BTB was probably the worst thing that could have been done. Obviously, when you're an adult, when someone bullies, it's either because they're not a well-adjusted adult, or because they're still a child. In either situation, it's fucking laughable. Know what you do? You turn and walk away, like the adult you are.
      But, hey! It's in the past.

      I plan on posting to the "Frills" FB group soon in the future. BTB won't deter me, and I hope people like the outfit I put time, money, and effort into. If I get posted, it will probably blow over within a weeks time and everyone will move on the the next batch of juicy "secrets". Maybe I'll think about what I can improve on next time.
      Either way, a grain of salt should be taken, whether it's the wisdom of knowing how to deal with people, or realizing that maybe you need to improve. Tastes a bit bitter at first, but it will season you into a better person either way.

    3. There is no excuse for bullying. And no justification. And victims deserve to defend themselves. Case. Fucking. Closed.

  2. I have been a victim of BTB a few weeks ago. I had never been on they before, the comments about my picture were hurtful. Some people have nothing better in their lives than to put others down. I pitty these people and they are the lowest of the low.

    Sorry you have been added to this hate site.

    1. Well - on the comments they are saying my blog is shit and other things,
      I'm sorry to hear that Sara that you were on bows, I wish that it was taking down,
      I was asked to blog more on this issue, and it's a big ONE in lolita,
      The bullying stops new people enjoying the fashion, also having fun with it,
      In Japan there is a lot more repect -
      I think that a lot of the girls should take a note out of there book,
      Feel free to 'like' me on facebook, and if you ever need to chat,
      just ask! :) hugs xx


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